I'm still here! Still crafting, eating, petting cats and doing all those other things I love to do. I'm done with the exams, and I passed sooo.... now I get to write a dissertation! I know, maybe some people thought I would receive a degree after all that. No no, I just get the pleasure of continuing to be in graduate school. I kid, but I really do love what I do. I just need a little time to regroup.
Obviously I knew the buildup to taking the exams would be stressful. I'd been preparing for them for, oh, a year or so. One tough thing about academia is that there's really no time when you shouldn't be working. For the sake of your own sanity you have to learn to establish boundaries for yourself. The hard thing about exam prep is that those boundaries really broke down, and I spent the whole last year feeling guilty and panicked whenever I wasn't studying. Even sometimes when I was. Would I be ready in time? Am I really getting at what's being said in such and such a book? Am I forgetting everything I'm studying because there's just so much of it?
What I didn't realize, which seems a little stupid in retrospect, is that it can take a while to come down from something like that. Practically this means I'm not quite feeling relieved yet. Maybe I never really will. I'm still stressed; I'm still not sleeping well; I'm still experiencing constant stress-related pain. But slowly I'm putting myself back together. There has been some knitting - not a ton - but in a few days I'll be back here with some exciting new things to show off, and hopefully a sunnier disposition. In the meantime, thanks, internet, for not disappearing while I've been away.
I totally understand the feeling–I think any time you have to be SUPER SELF-MOTIVATED, you have to maintain that motivation at all times. Time off–no matter how short–is a derailment. That’s kind of how I lived for the 3 years I was a freelancer (working many nights and weekends, just cause I was always in work mode). I’ll tell you, I’ve adjusted quite nicely to working 9 to 5 and then completely vegging out once I’m home. It does happen!
Totally know the feeling. Although on a much shorter time span, I had a very similar experience when I took the bar. Both times it took me several weeks to come down off that rush. Looking back on both experiences, I can’ t believe that I was able to stuff that much information into my brain.
Let me know when you’re fully recovered. Would love to see you and Peto and maybe get some nommy Korean food?
Cute shoes!
OMG do I ever know what you mean. I’m a year out from my quals and I still feel sort of broken by the process. (Um, crap. I realize that’s probably like, the least encouraging thing I could possibly say. But you’re probably more resilient than I am!).